i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize