I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
