Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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