Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
