peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
