i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize