Sober January is a disaster.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
