You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
