Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
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The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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