I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
