I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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