Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
