This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
