I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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