.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Please don't give away my fajitas
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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