You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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