he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Drunk is a universal language darling
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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