I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
