You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
