You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
