She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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