So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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