her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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