I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
