Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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