Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
