I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
