I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
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Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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