I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Randomize
