did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
