No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
