Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
