Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
i think i just lost a toe
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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