The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
