Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
