Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my phone needs a breathalizer
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think i got beer on your cat.
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