My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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