In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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