I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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