you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
