piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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