But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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