You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Randomize
