About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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