Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize