I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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