pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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