we have pet lesbian snakes
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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