I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
So here I am, sexting at work.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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