Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
