found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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