I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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