Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
