fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I want to be your penis for a week.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
