Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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