FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize