We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
