Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
