bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
