So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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