It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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