I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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